Summer Perfection (July)

Summer Perfection (July)
Ripped to shreds.....

The greatest pick up move in HISTORY!!!!!!!

What I am about to tell you is a family secret that has been passed down from generation to generation.  You are about to learn "THE GREATEST PICK UP MOVE IN HISTORY"

"It was the winter of 1985, and the Captain Power was at his grandparent's house in Richmond Hill, Queens.  I was only 5 years old at the time, and I still remember that I was wearing my favorite "Ghostbusters" sweatshirt that was in style that year.  I was sleeping over with my baby brother in early December, and the house was completely decorated for Christmas.  It started to snow outside, when my grandmother told me to put on my pajama's to get ready for bed.  I ran upstairs to put on my pajamas's ( which completely covered my entire body including the feet) and when I came back down I sat on my grandfather's lap to ask him some questions.

"Grandpa, how did you get grandma to marry you?" My grandfather started to laugh in his deep baritone voice.  "Heh heh heh, well it was actually pretty easy....." "You are still a little young, but there is actually a family secret that all the men in our family have used for generation after generation. My father used it,  I used it,  your father used it.  And hopefully one day YOU will use it"

I was in shock.  "Grandpa!! You have to tell me. What is the secret???"  My grandfather got a serious look on his face, and he learned forward towards the kitchen to see if my grandmother was listening.  Once he saw that the coast was clear, he started to tell me the secret.

"Ok, this is the way you do it.  Now this won't work the first time you meet her, but most likely on a 3rd or 4th date.   All you need is some tools".

Tools?" I was confused. "Grandpa, how did you get grandma with some tools?".  "Heh heh heh, let me finish."  "When you first go into the woman's house that you want to marry; run into her bathroom, close the door, and immediately clog the bowl with toilet paper"

"Clog the toilet grandpa????" "That's right, clog the toilet on purpose"

"hehehehehehe" I couldn't stop laughing.  Poop jokes are very funny when you are only 5.

"Now, once the toilet is clogged, go outside and ask her if she has any tools." "Tell her the plunger isn't working, and that you need a hammer and some screw drivers".

"Now listen up, this is the important part"

"If she doesn't have any tools, excuse yourself and go outside to grab the tool kit that you purposly left inside your car"  "When you go back into the bathroom make sure you close the door, and then take out all of your tools and bang them around for a little bit.  "After about 20 minutes pass, put your tools away, and then plunge the toilet like you should have in the first place".

"After that, she is all yours"

Power out!


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